The diary of a 20 something

We are all just figuring it out

First of all let me say, welcome and I am glad that you’re here! I had no clue what I wanted my first blog post to be about, but given that this is being published in my birth month; I think it’s only fitting that I touch a little on the topic of ‘growing ‘n knowing’.

This year I stepped a foot closer to my age falling off the calendar! yes, yes- I know; I’m getting quite old. I couldn’t help but think about how unreal this age feels; just a few years ago I was in high school worrying about trivial things like getting the best grades, acne, maintaining friendships, and having all the other classic teenager breakdowns.

Now, still worrying about skincare and having traded in my academic stress for career woes, it’s safe to say that the 16-year-old girl is pretty much still in there somewhere. Over the last 10 years, I’ve learnt and unlearned many things, and the last 4 years were the years that gave me a peek into what adulthood looks like and it’s even crazier thinking that this is just the surface and none of us really has the answer to many things.

So here are a few things these last 4 years have taught me and things I wish my younger self knew.

You’re never late for your own life

In your early 20s, mid-20s, and according to some of the older persons I know, you will constantly worry about what you should be doing, the classic fear of missing out (FOMO), and wondering if you’ve messed it all up. I’m from the school of thought that while you can delay certain experiences, blessings, etc.- the things that are destined for you will find you, we just have to do the work while they make their way to us. After a terrible job experience, I lost all confidence in writing and in myself as a professional, now I write and speak for a living, and though it has not been the easiest it is something I truly love. It took 4 years to realize that this job was already boxed and wrapped waiting for me. I simply had to develop myself in many areas before I could venture on this new journey.

Create a community that sees and hears you

I will always boast about the community I have created for myself! I have been lucky to have a supportive family, but the friends I have made over the years from high school, university, and work have honestly solidified my support system. Moving in 2021 in the middle of a pandemic to live 4 hours away from everyone I knew; I had to figure out the adulting stuff like paying bills, buying furniture and this was probably one of the hardest things I’ve done to date. The community that I created was really what got me through these times and as a quality time girlie- let me just say, that not seeing my family really did a number on me. Yes, I’ve lost some friends along the way and maybe that can be something discussed in the future, but so far I am sure all who are here, should be here.

Self-discipline will save you every time!

If there is anyone who can tell you how stubborn I am, that would be my mom- hi Mommy! something I’ve had to learn the hard way, is that most times we are faced with certain difficulties or we end up in sticky situations simply because of our actions- no one else’s. Self-discipline is more for you than anyone else, the word “self” is already a clear indication. Do not compromise your beliefs, values, and your personality for anything and anyone. If you do, you not only teach others how to treat you, but even scarier you teach yourself that it’s ok to betray you and that’s even worse.

Spend time with yourself

As we grow older, we transform in so many beautiful ways; many of the beliefs and opinions I had years ago aren’t the same now. The only way we can be of value to anyone else is if we understand the value we bring to this life itself. I am a sucker for solo dates, journaling, and self-reflection because through these mediums I have come to learn so much about myself. For many years I thought I was introverted, but the truth is while most nights I’ll opt to stay in bed, the reality is the younger me didn’t have adult money, and as the girls say ‘I’m just a girl,’ and this girl likes dressing up, looking good and going out.

Some believe that our perception shapes our reality, while others believe that our reality shapes our perception. I like to think it’s a little bit of both, the 16-year-old me saw the world through different lenses, and her reality was definitely different. What is important is that we make a conscious decision to be better for ourselves, hold ourselves accountable, and give ourselves the same and sometimes even more grace than we give to others.

What do you think? What’s something your 20’s is teaching or has taught you?